We all have those inner mean voices that harass us about our insecurities, not measuring up with friends and/peers, will I get that promotion I want at work or why can’t I get these unwanted pounds off. Where does this inner mean voice come from, it’s most likely how we were brought up, our previous relationships, ethnicity or even culture itself. Companies make TONS of money off of us trying to improve ourselves, it’s good for the economy so we can always count on trigger to get our inner mean voices chatting. You would never be overly critical with your close friends, stop being overly critical to yourself. And if you are a person feels motivated by their inner mean voice ask yourself does that really feel good?

Let’s figure out why it’s happening and learn to stop being mean to ourselves. In your journal, your phone notes or on a spreadsheet if that’s your thing, write down the major categories of your life:

Friendships

Relationships i.e. marriage or dating someone special

Parenting (if applicable)

Work Life

Finances

Body Image

Past

Future

Now ask yourself “How am I mean to myself in this area?”, some are most likely worse then others, prioritize the categories that are taking away from your happiness. This won’t be an easy exercise but it is super important to know what is hurting our happiness so we can shut them down when they are triggered. This will not stop your inner mean voice but this data will help you recognize when it starts so you can tell that inner mean voice “Not Today!”

We must THINK, DO and FEEL LIFE….then remember to do it over and over again.

Know your triggers

Plan the process

Commit to the process

Use the tools

Stay in the process

Best ways to manage that inner mean voice is with kindness, love and compassion.

Feel free to share your thoughts below and how you manage your inner mean voice.